she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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