You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
