im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
