remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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