She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
