I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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