are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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