Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think my tv is drunk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
