I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
