By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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