I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
