he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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