The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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