And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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