When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
