I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
