It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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