He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
