my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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