you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
