I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
