after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
soo... how was my night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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