I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i drank out of a bidet.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
