What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
