wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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