Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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