FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
