I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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