I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
