You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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