Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish you could order shots online.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
