stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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