Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
