sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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