she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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