i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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