ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
