I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
