I just pynch a tree in the face
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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