So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
