before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
