we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
