Got a toothbrush?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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