One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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