I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
