For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
where are you?
Hypothermia
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
