I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He kissed a someone with a penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
