tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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