No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
