Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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