Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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