He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
