i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
