you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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